I just have a little insight that I wanted to share.
Recently I went ice skating. I hadn’t done this since I was a kid, so I didn’t think I’d be very good at it. However, I took to it very easily – much better than a lot of my friends who came along. I realised as I watched their approach that the main difference was that once I accepted that I was certainly going to fall at one time or another, and that it wouldn’t actually be so bad, I was able to let go of the wall, lean forward and really get into the feeling. Although it was a bit scary, it was really exhilarating! In comparison, many of my friends were holding onto the wall for dear life, and this was actually putting them off balance. When I asked them why they were doing so, they replied that they were scared of falling. After a while, everyone had a go at skating without the wall to lean on, and found it easier than they thought. The most ironic thing was that I didn’t end up falling once, even though my approach may at first have seemed the most risky!
Afterwards I thought about how this could apply to my recovery and life in general. What I realised was that this situation was all about commitment, and fear of it. Often the scariest thing can be to make a really honest attempt, because if you fail you have no excuses. Also, if you lean into the process, you will accelerate, and when you fall you might actually get hurt! However, as my experience taught me, full engagement feels exhilarating and actually puts me in a more balanced and stable position to deal with anything that comes up.
Since then, my new motto has been “lean forward and live fully”! This thought has motivated me to do everything I can in pursuit of a better life. I have been using FRC at every opportunity, doing my daily routine and self care religiously, journalling HEAPS, connecting more with others and generally enjoying the feeling of living.
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