Recently, I was interviewed by a prominent newspaper regarding what effect pornography addiction has on relationships. After 27 years as a clinical psychologist, I have worked with individuals, couples and families from all age groups and walks of life. I can tell you that pornography addiction has a devastating impact on relationships. Most often, the damaged relationship we think of first is the marriage relationship. While porn addiction is most certainly destructive to marriages, there are other relationships that pornography can devastate–the addict’s relationship with self; parents, siblings and other family members; dating relations and fiances; friends, co-workers and contacts in everyday life. In addition, porn addiction can affect future relationships that have yet to be formed.
Read more…
It’s probably because of an Obsessive Compulsive Cycle that you have had difficulty overcoming your porn addiction. Understanding this cycle can help you understand why the more you try to avoid pornography and other sexual addiction behaviors, the more difficult it is. The advice to “just quit thinking about it,” or “get it out of your mind” actually makes it worse! This is the worst advice there is! After you understand obsessions, compulsions, fear, and how the mind works you will know why you have failed in the past and why this “seemingly common sense advice” is so destructive. Understanding obsessions, compulsions and fear is one of the most powerful keys in helping you overcome pornography addiction. It is the obsessive-compulsive dynamic coupled with fear that has most likely kept you trapped.
Read more…
I have been practicing as a Clinical Psychologist for more than 25 years. During that time, I have diagnosed and treated individuals, couples and families for a host of mental health and addiction issues. I can tell you that in all my experience, I have consistently observed several common core issues at the foundation of most people’s mental health and addiction challenges. One of the most important factors is loyalty. This holds especially true for sexual/pornography addiction. I submit that one of the core issues at the heart of an individual’s struggle with pornography use is a “lack of loyalty.” This contributes greatly to feelings of isolation, disconnection and loneliness-all major factors in this addiction. Take time to deeply consider the following concepts AND to complete the simple exercises:
Read more…
By Dr. Randall F. Hyde & Mark B. Kastleman
The mountains of clinical data and visual evidence as millions continue their out-of-control porn use despite consequences of divorce, loss of employment, destroyed reputations, prison time, etc., shouts the obvious: “YES, PORNOGRPAHY IS ADDICTIVE!” And just in case there are still out there a few stubborn hold-outs, research is currently being conducted by some of the world’s leading experts in the neuroscience and neuropsychology fields that will provide the clinical evidence required to officially enter sex and pornography as “addictions” in the DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
Read more…
Two months ago I had a woman come in for a session and tell me that her husband has been battling an addiction to pornography for years. He decided that he “wanted his freedom” and was leaving her, the kids, and his faith. Since that time he has been “partying it up”. He has been attending professional football games, took up drinking and has made a whole new group of friends. She was heartbroken. Read more…
Hiding Your True Self is TOXIC!
Relationships are vital to our happiness, and our emotional and psychological health. There is one relationship that is most important–the one we have with ourselves. It’s impossible to be happy or tranquil if we are not at peace with ourselves. To be at peace with ourselves we have to have some degree of self-respect. Self-respect is the foundation of our self-relationship. It’s hard to live with one’s self if you don’t respect who you are.
Read more…
I just had a terrific athlete come into my office who is struggling with a pornography addiction. He has been to five other therapists and to a program that specialize in sexual addiction. I asked him how he has tried to overcome his addiction. He said through trying not to think about it, lots of therapy, keeping himself busy, etc. etc. etc.
I loved my Dad. He was my hero. My Pal. I admired and respected him. He was the ultimate family man. As a family we loved him and he loved us. I grew up in Rexburg Idaho. On a beautiful clear morning on June 5, 1976 I heard on the radio that the Teton Dam had broken and a tidal wave of water was rushing towards our quiet little town. Read more…
With our latest amazing technology that we have to study the brain and the vastness of its capacity and the incredible incomprehensible miracle that it is 
– we are left at the end of the day to just sit back and exclaim: “How great thou art, How great thou art!” Read more…
What is the very purpose and meaning of life? It is to be happy. If we are not happy, what is the point? There is only one way to be happy–through love! Love and respect for ourselves and for others. Misery comes from deep loneliness and isolation. As human beings we were made and created to love. Without it, we experience shallowness, void and despair. We NEED each other! People need people. The deeper and more affectionate our love, the deeper and greater our happiness.
Read more…
