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Masturbation Drives Me Crazy!

Candeo Co-Founder, Mark Kastleman

As I reflect back on my own heavy addiction years, and consider the many thousands of struggling individuals I’ve communicated with over more than a decade, I notice some very common frustrations, confusion, and just plain exasperation! Here’s a recent blog comment on our site that really says it well:

“PATHETIC how WEAK the human brain is! I don’t know what to do. I’ve had this problem for way too long! I have actually started to hate real women because it’s not like it’s ‘easy’ to get with them. Everything in life has to be a ‘challenge’ huh? Well it’s no stinking wonder why we get addicted to something like masturbation. But then the masturbation itself becomes an even bigger problem.”

“I often question myself and ask myself while I feel the urge to ‘act out’ and masturbate and look at porn: What IF I DON’T do it–..what if I just resist and endure the pain–what is the worst that could happen? But I still fail and go ahead and give in. I am seriously disappointed in the human brain – this type of addiction simply shouldn’t happen. Nature has too many flaws! The reason I blame nature instead of blaming myself is cause,..well, look how many people this thing affects! I am starting the cycle again.it seems like I cannot go more than 4 days without indulging–I’m so pathetic!

I love the honesty and transparency of this guy’s comments. What he describes is exactly what I and so many others have felt. It’s a soup of emotions all mixed together. It starts with outright frustration,”Why can’t I just stop doing this? What’s wrong with me? It shouldn’t be that hard,just decide and then do it!” Then you throw some confusion and mystery into the mix, “Why does my crazy brain function this way? How can some stupid urges be this powerful?” Then you toss in some plain old disgust, “I can’t believe how pathetic and weak I am! This whole sex urge and brain addiction thing is ridiculous!” Finally, you add some rationalization, blame, a healthy dose of shame, and some hopelessness,and there you have it,the complex emotional soup known as “masturbation addiction.” And fortunately, for many of us, there are two additional ingredients we manage to force into the mix, albeit in meager amounts,a pinch of hope and a smidge of determination. By a miracle, we keep hanging on to the dream that we can somehow beat this thing!

How do you start to get a handle on the crazy emotions that your addiction cycle triggers? How do you keep from going crazy? The first thing to understand is there is nothing mysterious about your situation. There is a logical, scientific explanation and process behind your addiction, or what we call, “How did I get here?” Once you understand the brain science behind addiction, you can trace the step-by-step process that landed you in your current rut. This understanding is a big part of beginning to rid yourself of shame and self-loathing because it proves that you aren’t a loser, freak, pervert or lost cause! Just like a cocaine addict or alcoholic, there is a logical explanation behind your addiction.

Second, you must learn that you are NOT permanently stuck in your addiction,there is a step-by-step process that will lead you out. The amazing thing about this recovery process is that it is very similar to the one that developed your addiction in the first place! As we say, “What got you into your addiction can get you out.” It’s a matter of learning HOW your brain forms dominant habits, and then harnessing and directing that process to build new healthy habits and a way of life that no longer includes masturbation as your “drug of choice.”

The latest neuroscience proves that our brains are “neuro-plastic” or in other words, moldable and changeable. You can’t recover with the dominant addiction circuitry you have in your brain today. You must learn how to shrink that addiction circuitry while building and expanding new healthy circuitry. Brain scans show that this can be done. You possess within yourself all of the fundamental building blocks to make it happen. All you lack is the training, tools, skills and consistent repetition over time.

Come and let us help you change your brain and break out of your addiction. Get started with the Candeo program and get moving down the path to freedom!