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I Was Afraid to Share My “Secret”

Candeo Students sharing anonymously

Many who struggle with pornography use don’t get help because they fear the consequences of those close to them finding out their “secret.” We have purposely designed the Candeo program to be completely private and anonymous.

Through a private online message board, you can receive the help of your Candeo Coach without ever disclosing your identity. Known only by your screen-name, you can use the Candeo online forums to anonymously communicate with other Candeo Students all over the world.

If and when you are ready, at your invitation, your spouse, partner, parent or other loved one can receive special Candeo online training at no cost.

Here are some of our worldwide Candeo Students sharing their fears and how the Candeo program helped them move through these challenges to find success. These are their actual words–

Student Experience #1–

I want to share with you what just the anonymity of the Candeo program has done for me, it has opened up a new world. I could honestly say that all the years of my addiction, I did not tell anyone. I did not even tell my wife. My wife did know a little bit because she would find some evidence from time to time, but she never knew how far the extent of my addiction was.

When I joined Candeo I was able to discuss this addiction openly and freely with my Coach and even on the forums. Knowing that everything is in an anonymous setting helped me to finally open up. I didn’t realize until now just how valuable this has been. It just makes me be able to open up freely. Well, today I finally told my wife. It has been something that I have been dreading, but I felt I needed to do. I was shocked at her response because she was so supportive. I think it was because I was able to tell her all that I had learned about the addiction and then what I was doing to overcome it. I felt so close to her for the first time in a really long time.

Student Experience #2–

I’ve been getting to the point over the past couple of weeks where I am more open to share my experiences with others–even real humans that I know. I feel this way, because I have seen through Candeo that my experiences are not extremely unique, which is to say if I have these problems and have these experiences, others do too. I also have been able, for the first time, to share my thoughts, emotions, and feelings with other people through the forums. They know me, the real me, they know all about me and still care. I have come so far in my recovery that I think I am ready to start sharing outside of here, with people who are struggling. I really don’t feel as much shame in my past or feel like there are things to hide from people.

Candeo Coach Experience–

The ability to share freely has been one of the most important parts of my students’ recoveries. The majority of my students have not disclosed fully their addiction to anybody. There are some who have been caught or have disclosed partially, but most of them hold a little back and some entirely. From my experience, having an on-line, anonymous place where they can safely practice sharing and talking with people who are not going to be critical or judge them helps them to share.

Here is one of my favorite examples: I had a young adult student who was very ashamed of his addiction. In fact, his sister, of whom he was generally very close with, had just divorced her husband because of a similar addiction. There was no way that he was going to share with her his addiction after watching her go through so much pain. He said he felt himself pulling away from her and it made him sad. We practiced conversations through our coaching message board so he could be prepared to talk with her. When he felt ready, he shared and the experience was incredible.

Student Experience #3–

I would like to share with you now some good news. This week I finally opened up to my wife about that I struggle with my addiction. I told her that even though I have struggled with this, she is the only woman in the world who attracts me. I also told her that although in the past I had struggled, I have done really well. I was also able to tell her that I am really working on myself and my underlying issues. I was able to share some of that and we felt really close. All this I really felt is true, and we really felt emotionally connected to each other. My wife really appreciated everything that I told her, and she really complemented me for working so hard.