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My Sexual Addiction Was All About “The Chase”

Anonymous Candeo Student

The following was related by one of Candeo’s Recovery Students. He was divorced and in his mid-thirties-

When I first started Candeo, the “group” of friends that I’d been hanging out with was all about competition and who had the best job, car and who got the most girls. It seemed like their whole idea of bonding was going out clubbing and meeting women and of course it was fun at first. But as time went on, I just didn’t have that drive like I used to.

It sucked because I was meeting all these women that I could potentially have a good time with and maybe even pursue a relationship with and enjoy all the benefits of having a girlfriend like the physical and emotional intimacy you get with someone close to you in your life. But, I just couldn’t and I didn’t even really know why. After the first night or maybe even the first few dates I just wasn’t intrigued any more. I had many short ‘flings’, but nothing substantial. I’ve found that I have great difficulty opening up with others, especially women. After the initial “hunt” is over it’s like the interest is gone.

Something that really scared me when I first got on Candeo was a story from a few guys on the student forum who did exactly what I was doing and later they talked about losing their drive and this one guy said he couldn’t even get aroused anymore with women and had to resort to masturbation. He said he found that his impotence was somehow connected to the unfulfillment that one-night stands had brought. I don’t know if that is true, but it’s something that has been bothering me for the past several years because as time goes on I feel like I’ve lost my mojo.

A lot of guys think that if they get married or live with someone and can have sex anytime everything will be OK. I was married for awhile and during the first year or so of our relationship things were fine sexually but then things went downhill quickly when I felt like I lost my desire to have sex with her and sex just became boring and I found myself starting to check out other women, hitting on them and stuff. Most of the times when we did have sex she was the one initiating it.

After we divorced I went into a depression for a time, I met another girl within a year and the same issues came up. I was very confused about why I wasn’t happy and wondering if I would ever have a relationship. I even dived into some pretty heavy porn for a while and some on-line chatting, but that just didn’t do it for me. So I was back on the bar scene again. Then it was just going from girl to girl and not necessarily having sex with them, but trying to pick them up and then go home and masturbate-it’s sometimes all about the chase. What a lonely world.

After a number of months on the Candeo program, the same Student offered the following report-

My head’s in a really good place-thoughts of women pop into my mind, but are easily passed over now, all I have to do is use the tools that I was taught in Candeo and it works. At first it seemed too simple, but I am amazed. I’m even in a relationship and it’s 500% better than any in the past. So, it’s all good on my side. It’s weird now that I’m not spending so much of my time obsessed with the “hunt” of women. I find I’m not running to masturbation to deal with things. This is allowing me to develop a healthier sexual relationship with my partner. I can tell you that I’m finding I have to work to achieve a high level of satisfaction in my current relationship-it takes a lot more effort than just a one-night fling but it’s worth the fight. I’m very happy and content.

I’ve also never felt more empowered-I feel like my brain is rewired and that’s what Candeo really puts focus on-the brain science and understanding how I got into my behaviors and how to change them. Last night I went to a club with mates, my girlfriend is away and I would normally be running around trying to pick up girls, texting old flames etc. I had fun AND I had no desire to sleep with women. Thanks Candeo for this gift.